OK, time out, Miley Cyrus. Yeah, we know the MTV Video Music Awards is a place to go crazy and shock the crowds, and we of all people are highly appreciative of outrageous antics at the VMAs. Still, that performance with Robin Thicke literally had us backing away from our screens. Now we can't help but wonder: Is there no limit to Miley Cyrus' self-consciously shocking behavior of late?
Miley Cyrus first took the VMA stage with Robin Thicke for a duet of "Blurred Lines." Dressed in a skimpy body suit designed in the form of a cartoonish teddy bear face, Miley strutted wildly about with her tongue snaking out the side of her mouth in what is fast overtaking twerking as her signature move. Of course, there was twerking, too. Limbs were flung, butt was shaken, tongue was wagged, lips were curled, and crotch was grabbed.
And that's not all. At one point Miley stripped down to an even skimpier two-piece getup and donned a giant foam finger that she used to repeatedly, incessantly rub her crotch, and even to molest co-performer Robin Thicke's. That finger was used to its full phallic effect as Miley clutched it to her crotch and thrust her pelvis frantically, at one point pulling it between her legs to perform the horrible floss move that really should never be done in earnest.
To complete this hellscape, neon versions of Miley's giant bear companions from the "We Can't Stop" video bobbed and swayed around her throughout the performance. Did you ever have nightmares that one of the neighborhood's My Size Barbies would come to life while you were sleeping and lead all of the stuffed animals on a cocaine-fueled murder spree that ended with you waking up to the sight of them hopping and screeching in circles around your bed? No? Just us? Well, just picture it, and that's what Miley Cyrus' VMAs performance looked like.
Somewhere between the "We Can't Stop" video and tonight's Video Music Awards performance, Miley Cyrus crossed the line from insistently hypersexual to maniacally lewd. Now, we're not one to shame a female performer for expressing her sexuality as she sees fit. But in all the years of girl-to-woman transitions in pop music, have you ever really, truly never seen a young artist push her newly adult sexuality in such an aggressively cracked fashion?
What is going on, Miley? What are you trying to tell us? What do you need us to do in return for never making us watch that nightmare again?
What did you think of Miley Cyrus' VMA performance? Let us know in the comments section below!