Carolyn Moos, the ex-fiancé of Jason Collins, admitted in an upcoming Cosmopolitan interview that she still feels hurt by him. Collins, who recently became the first active professional athlete in a major American team sport to come out as gay, broke off his engagement with Moos four years ago without explanation.
"I empathize with Jason and support him," Moos wrote. "But at the same time, I remain deeply hurt by him. I wish he could have been honest with me years ago. I feel like there are two Jasons now-the man I fell in love with and the man I'm trying so hard to understand. He's being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love."
Carolyn Moos explained in the story that Collins came out to her in April, the same day he made the announcement publicly in a Sports Illustrated article. However, Moos added that Collins never mentioned the article in their conversation, so Moos had to find out about it from a friend.
"As I tell this story, it has been several weeks since he told me his news and he has made no further time to talk, despite saying he would do so," Moos added. "I am sad that the media seems to be a higher priority. I hope this changes in the coming weeks, as I value open dialogue more than anything."
Indeed, Jason Collins has been busy since coming out as gay. He recently marched in Boston's gay pride parade with his former Stanford University roommate Joe Kennedy III, currently a congressman in Massachusetts. Collins also headlined the Democratic National Committee's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender gala in May.
But while Jason Collins remains busy off the court, he has not yet been signed for the 2013–14 NBA season. A June report claimed that the Brooklyn Nets were considering adding the center, a former teammate of new Nets coach Jason Kidd. However, it is not known how strong the team's interest is.
Still, despite her anger, Carolyn Moos admitted that she understands what her ex is going through. She noted that he faced masculine stereotypes in the NBA just as she faced feminine ones as a professional women's basketball player.
"I can't imagine what it's like to go through all the stages he has gone through, all the deep layers," Moos continued. "I don't know what it's like to wear a mask for 34 years. It's sad that society puts that kind of pressure on a person."